Never Cats

I've only had two long-term boyfriends. Both had cats.  I had to take a Benadryl every time I wanted to get laid, or even just sleep over.  Recently, a fellow named Tofu Todd sent me a recipe for vegan cat food.  Aren't cats totally carnivorous in the wild?  I know eating locally and switching to veganism from meat-eating is supposed to be better for the planet.  But is a cat really gonna eat your tofu, Todd?  Is that the future?  A green future of vegan cats?